Road Trip

But I said, "I have toiled in vain,

I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity:

Yet surely the justice due me is with the Lord,

and my reward with my God."

-------- Isaiah 49:4 ---------

Five hours to Chicago on a Friday afternoon. It was hot and humid and we were crammed inside Bong's little Mercury Sable. Lourdes, Chit and Maley shared the backseat with all the other things that we could not fit in the trunk. Nothing could stop us, not even the dreaded traffic that was awaiting us once we get to the Chicago area. This road trip was meant to be! Off we went to the CFC-FFL Conference. We let God be our strength!

I drove the first half... one stop at a rest area for a bathroom break and a very late lunch. Thank God for HFL sisters, Lourdes & Chit, we can never go hungry because they always bring food... we can never have bad breath because there is always some fresh breath gum ready in their purses.

After we fillep-up our gas tank just before entering the state of Illimois, Bong took the wheel. Time for my nap you would think... but oh no, I was tasked to look at the map, look at the road and make sure that he can follow where the GPS directs him to. "Stay on this Hi-way", I told him. "No, we have pay toll", he insisted. "But that's for another hi-way", my voice was now raised a wee bit. "After the toll gate, we would still be back to that same hi-way", said he very confidently. No more argument... now, where's that same hi-way? Blame, blame, blame... argue, argue, argue... why do we bother to let the GPS guide us but yet we do not heed? Hmmppp!

To make the long story short, we found another way to our destination, but instead of the original plan to evade the downtown traffic, we found ourselves dashing off into it. I got tired of arguing, I just prayed that we get there safely --- getting there on time was no longer an option anyway. Finally! Our exit! We were just waiting for our turn to merge into the local street at the stop sign when we were suddenly jolted by a thud. Oh great! Almost there, and now, more delay. We were rearended!

It tturned out to be a very quick settlement. The other driver apologetically owned the fault. He was going to take care of that big damage to his car.... we would take care of the little scratch on ours.

We got to the conference, not on time for the opening, but we accomplished the first objective --- to be there. Victory! We toiled not in vain. And God gave us our reward --- the rest of the wonderful conference experience.

My God is now my strength.

--- no Angel ---

I am a SHEEP

Truly, truly, I say to you,
he who does not enter by the door into the fold of the sheep,
but climbs up some other way, he is a thief and a robber.
But he who enters by the door is a shepherd of the sheep.
To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hears his voice and
he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
When he puts forth all his own,
he goes ahead of them and the sheep follow him because they know his voice.
A stranger they simply will not follow, but will flee from him,
because they do not know the voice of strangers.
------ John 10: 1-5 ------

awesome photo taken by my awesome son Thaad

Soaring gas prices, whew! When I had to bring my car to the dealership for a recall, it took them more than a month to get done with it, and so they paid for my rental car. Bong chose the Ford Fiesta for me and boy was I really glad! 36 miles to a gallon of gas compared to 23 on my Windstar. I was very pleased indeed.

Second day into my pleasant driving experience.... Off to work I went with my Sirius (something I did not have with my Windstar) Christian music station on, I drove by an elderly gentleman by the entrance ramp onto I-275. I was just done with my morning drive habit, that is about 12 miles of praise and worship before I get into the freeway and then I am ready for my day's challenges. A red plastic gas container in one hand, this guy was waving at me with the other, signaling that he needed a ride. Not giving it a second thought, I stopped... Ooopppsss.... In short, I gave the guy a lift... might be my first challenge of the day.

He asked my name. I told him. He asked if I can drive him to where his car broke down on him. Sorry, that is out of my way. He asked if I can drop him off at a gas station instead. That, I can do since there's a gas station right afte I get off the freeway. He asked if I can spare him a couple of bucks to pay for gas because all he had was some loose change he found in his car. Okay, as soon as we get to that gas station, That was probably the longest 10-minute drive ever. I was uncomfortable and I was not talking, except when asked. Finally, the gas station.... I dropped him off, gave him the last few dollars that I had in my wallet and we said our goodbyes.

It was a relief when I saw all those familiar faces at work. I told them about my adventure.... or mis-adventure. They reminded me of the dangers of my action. Yeah, I was a fool but I also felt sorry for that seemingly helpless stranger. It was Freddie (he is another story to tell) who put some sense to my doubting little mind. "You have a good heart, Casilda. Maybe it was God who made you do what you did. Maybe you were listening to God telling you to help that guy", he tells me. And that was enough for me. God is my shepherd and I am His sheep.

I am pleased. I am BLESSED.

- no angel -

Prayer Power

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,
the evidence of things not seen.
For by it the elders obtained a good report.
Through faith we understand
that the worlds were framed by the word of God,
so that things which are seen
were not made of things which do appear.
---- Hebrews 11:1-3 ----

Childbirth by Ceasarean Section was a frightening experience. Yet, each time I went through the procedure, the prize always amazingly weighed down the fear. Jas... Gem... Thaad... my precious prizes! It was not very long ago that they ran to me for comfort, that they came to me for answers, that they hid behind me for protection. Swift fly the years... they are all grown up now and I have an empty nest. I worry about them everyday but I trust that my prayers go with them... Pray, that's what I can do for them... what else can a mom really do?

Every prayer I say is heard, I do not doubt. Everyday is a miracle, I rejoice. Every life is a gift, I give thanks.

What is left of Gem's car after her rollover accident on I-96 on that snowy Saturday afternoon on her way back to Grand Rapids. She walked out of the mess unharmed. An answered prayer, a miracle, a gift. Praise be God!

Checking on Gem in Grand Rapids. Picture taken by Clay, the friend who came to her rescue.

FAITH, JOY, THANKSGIVING...

- no angel -

Black Angel

For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish,
disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures,
living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
But after that the kindness and love of
God our Saviour toward man appeared,
Not by works of righteousness which we have done,
but according to his mercy he saved us,
by the washing of regeneration,
and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
Which he shed on us abundantly
through Jesus Christ our Saviour;
That being justified by his grace,
we should be made heirs
according to the hope of eternal life.
Titus 3:3-7

No luck... the weather did not permit the launching of the space shuttle...
but not the picture taking. (Jellus is in green & white shirt beside me)

Orlando, Florida... our summer getaway! Together with our friends, the Madrids, the Aspirases, the Espinosas and the Doromals, vacation was made more fun. One day, we decided to make a side trip to Titusville, home to the Kennedy Space Center, to watch the launching of a space shuttle. I really did not care too much about it, but since everyone else thought that this might be the only chance to witness an event like this, then off we went... packed lunches and all, we drove a little over an hour. Parking was not easy to find, people scurried towards the water's edge for a perfect spot to watch that shuttle leave earth. Even in the humid summer heat, everyone, young and old, was eagerly waiting... waiting... waiting... until the announcement came off a loudspeaker from somewhere.... "NASA has canceled the launch because of the bad weather..." Suddenly, rain poured so hard, everyone was rushing to their vehicles... and so ended our launch watch, in vain. But the reflection to this blog's passage from the the Holy Book is not the failed shuttle launch...

In the midst of all the hustle and bustle, an older man, dressed in a shiny black gown and wings, pretending to be a 'black angel', was busy telling passers by how Christians are like cannibals... eating Jesus' body and drinking His blood. And Jellus (Espinosa) being Jellus, who could not just keep still, spoke his mind. He reminded the guy, "it's not real body nor real blood..." until one of the other kids started pulling him away lest a big debate might ensue. I walked away from the guy mumbling how stupid he was. Jellus, as young as he might be, was trying to defend his faith... why didn't I, and the rest of the other Christians who were there?

According to Father Bill, eating His body and drinking His blood, is a "metaphor of something bigger". When Jesus referred to the bread and wine as His flesh and blood, He was also referring to the reality of Himself. He is real, as significant as the bread being broken and the wine being poured, He gave His body and blood so that you and I might live. We repay Jesus with our good deeds... but is this enough?... or is standing up for our faith the better payment?

Only by His MERCY and GRACE are we all saved!... I have HOPE!

- no angel -

Repentance and Faith

"So I say to you:
Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives;
he who seeks finds;
and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

"Which of you fathers,
if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?
Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?
If you then, though you are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father in heaven
give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
Luke 11:9-13

I was out of work when I discovered blogging. I would sit in front of my computer with my thoughts running wild. I would start hitting the keys and in no time, a blog is published. I was constantly at it when suddenly our cousin's, Ting's, husband, Lyndon, passed away. An active and supposedly healthy man in his early 40's, betrayed by a heart attack. With heavy hearts, Bong and I immediately went to Saginaw to console Ting and her 2 little girls. The house was already packed with friends and my head was heavy and aching. Inday Ling asked one doctor friend to check on me. After checking my blood pressure, she announced that it was too high. After that, I found myself being seated on the bigger couch and surrounded by at least five doctors, who were also visiting. I hear scrambling... and soon, a pill was put under my tongue. More BP tests... 'tachycardia', I remember hearing but not understanding. Later an ambulance came for me and I was brought to the ER. At the hospital, I was made to undergo a lot of tests... blood tests, ECG, stress test, ultrasound, etc. All the results came back good. That was a relief. There was nothing wrong with me... contrary to what I was feeling. Back home, I went to see my doctor and he told me that I was alright but because of the incident, he prescribed for me a blood pressure pill in a very small dose. Still, everyday was a struggle. Even blogging was not enjoyable anymore. I was always anxious which resulted to a rise in my BP and a fast heart rate (I learned that tachycardia means a heart rate > 120/minute)... I was nervous. Lyndon's death was a reminder that it is anybody's time to go anytime and I was afraid for mine. I realized that no medicine can cure me. I have to cope with my own distress. Before I retire in the evening, Bong would pray over me. I asked brothers and sisters to pray for me and they did. I called my Tita Clavel in California and told her about my illness and she would constantly call me back and comfort me with her wise words... she also prayed for me everyday. I put all my trust in God as I prayed everyday. I have turned to the ultimate healer... God. Now, after a couple of months, I am proud to say that I am so much better... no more anxiety attacks and still praying that no more of it anymore, at all. When friends ask how I am, I tell them, "miraculously, I am healed". My faith has once again saved me and here I am blogging once more. PRAISE the Lord!

- no Angel -

War of Words

Therefore consider the members of your earthly body
as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed,
which amounts to idolatry.
For it is because of these things that
the wrath of God will come upon the sons of disobedience,
and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them.
But now you also,
put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander,
and abusive speech from your mouth.
Do not lie to one another,
since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices,
and have put on the new self
who is being renewed to a true knowledge
according to the image of the One who created him--
Colossians 3:5-10

I do not have TFC (the Filipino channel) but our cousin, Rose, in Saginaw has. That is probably the only channel they watch all day. Being in Saginaw for the weekend, I got a chance to watch some Filipino shows. I even attended mass on TV, where in his sermon, Fr. George Gomez touched the subject of warring factions of some showbiz plastic surgeons. In order to promote her business, Belo commented on live TV, "If you want to look like Boy Abunda, go to Dr. Manny Calayan. If you want to look like Piolo Pascual, come to Dr. Vicky Belo". Was that really necessary? Even if it was intended to be a joke, the words were spoken and people were hurt. These things that come out of our mouths, we can never put back in. There is no such thing as unspeaking what was already spoken. This is precisely the reason why I choose to keep my mouth shut whenever I am angry. Instead, I wait for my calm to set in, so then can I choose the right words to say to confront my tormentor. But real beauty radiates from the inside. If you feel that your looks need 'fixing', the one best surgeon to call is God Himself. It is painless and it is free!

God is GOOD!

- no Angel -

Meet Missy

And we know that God causes all things to work together
for good to those who love God,
to those who are called according to His purpose.
For those whom He foreknew,
He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son,
so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;
and these whom He predestined, He also called;
and these whom He called, He also justified;
and these whom He justified, He also glorified.
What then shall we say to these things?
If God is for us, who is against us?
He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all,
how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
Who will bring a charge against God's elect?
God is the one who justifies;
who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died,
yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God,
who also intercedes for us.
Who will separate us from the love of Christ?
Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine,
or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Just as it is written,
"FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED."
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer
through Him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life,
nor angels, nor principalities,
nor things present, nor things to come,
nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing,
will be able to separate us from the love of God,
which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:28-39

Missy is the youngest of Gene's and Wang's girls. She was born with Spina Bifida which resulted to her having Hydrocephalus. So as a newborn, water had to be drained out from her brain through a little incision in the head. Water drained and the incision stitched closed, they started to lovingly call her Missy... or is it spelled May-Si? With humor and a lot of love, Wang explained that it was really short for 'may sinulid sa ulo' (Filipino for with thread in the head).... get it?

How can a mother find something funny about a serious ailment of a daughter she just gave birth to, and which could alter her life forever? Instead of anger and resentment, she chose to rejoice and to love. Instead of sulking and crying over life's misery, she thanked God for her strength. She takes each day with a new thing to be happy about... for really, nothing can separate us from the love of God.... and JESUS is the proof.

- no Angel -